"I wouldn’t feel great if you left me alone, but I wouldn’t feel bad either. I’d feel good, like I always do, which has nothing to do with you, even if you’ll have nothing to do with me."
"If football players wanted to protect their brains from injury they’d wear astronaut helmets. After all, astronauts have massive IQ’s, so wearing their protective headgear seems like a smart choice."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m drowning in my love for you."
"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."
"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."