More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."