More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sticky note pads, and a few highlighters, and I think I'm finally ready to enter into organized crime."
"I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?"It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line."
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."