I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s... - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of the moon!"
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"Respect doesn’t have to be shiny. It just needs to be wearable. Would you be so kind as to hold my jockstrap while I stir your hot coffee?"
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"Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress."
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"My skull is soundproof. And thank God too, or else you’d be able to hear all the horrible things I’m thinking about you."
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