I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s... - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"The decision to empty my mind was a no-brainer."

"I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now."

"I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones."

"I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors, so I could fondle you more efficiently, like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security."

"Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic."