"I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited."
"I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop car, with a note affixed to the body that reads, “I’m sorry."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."
"I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop car, with a note affixed to the body that reads, “I’m sorry."
"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."