"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."
"The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"Sometimes I wish Jim Morrison were still alive, because I'd love to see a concert in which "The Doors"opened up for "The Cars."
"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."
"I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer."