"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."
"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."
"I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that."