"I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sticky note pads, and a few highlighters, and I think I'm finally ready to enter into organized crime."
"I saw this beautiful girl the other day. She had an ass behind her that seemed to go on for days. In fact, I’m still going on about her."
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."