More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."