More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."
"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."
"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."