More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"My father sacrificed his life for our family when I was growing up. He was one of the bravest, wisest, and most unselfish goats I have ever known, and I will miss his cheese dearly."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."