More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."