If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kick... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."

"With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell."

"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."

"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."

"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."