If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kick... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."
"When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."
"I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?"It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line."