If you want to bend your mind, don’t use a crowbar. - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there."

"I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everything have to remind me of her?"

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to."

"With my career I want to either make something or make an impact. Writers both make something, and make an impact."