If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

"There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope."

"Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic."

"To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition."

"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

"The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."