More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."
"I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy."
"I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me."
"I’m so sunburned I’m embarrassed, but you can’t tell I’m blushing because I’m sunburned. I’m so ashamed I could just lie on the beach and die."
"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"