More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I drive as fast as four tire swings hanging from a tree branch in the middle of winter. I also make love with as much speed and rotation."
"I meet people to know I’m not alone. I network like an astronaut on the moon."
"Wisdom is knowing when you are being patient, and when you are wasting time by waiting."
"I like grape juice. Fermented grape juice—wine. It’s the drink of choice for champions. I know because I asked a bunch of winners."
"Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I’d rather ride my roller skates to work."