"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."
"Love now, not later. Also, love later."
"Better than learning how to speak a foreign language, is to start speaking the truth. But few people will listen, because they just don’t understand."
"I’ll convert a school desk into a tricycle, because how else am I supposed to learn to love? It’s not like baseball gloves are very effective oven mitts."
"She cuts me deep with her words, with her withholding of words, and with her knife. I’m not sure which is the most painful."