"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"I told her I'd rather talk about her, instead of listening to her drone on about the weather. Little did I know she was an aspiring meteorologist."
"It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage."
"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."
"The goodbad news is she only stole half. The badgood news is she stole half. And when it’s love that’s been stolen, a hole the size of half your heart feels like the whole thing has been taken."
"One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people."