I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."

"A mini self-sacrifice is made when you force your heart to wait. I’ve got mine set on a timer, so I can do other things, like chase women."

"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."

"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."

"Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m drowning in my love for you."