You used to love me. Let me help jog your memory by buying y... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"You used to love me. Let me help jog your memory by buying you some running shoes. The shoes will be wooden, and nailed to the floor."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unless you enjoy networking in public restrooms."
"Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable."
"Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? I need to get some new body armor."
"New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on #LoversLane."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."