More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."
"I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am."