More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones."
"I am my own clone. I’m not who I was yesterday, but then again I am."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."