More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."
"I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead."
"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."
"The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting."