The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peekin... - Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

"I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner."

"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."

"I am the red wheelbarrow of communism. William Carlos Williams wrote a poem about me."

"You know what I like most about people? Pets."

"I want to be the first and second man to dance on the moon. No, I won’t moonwalk. But I will Cha Cha—with my clone."