"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."
"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."
"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."