"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."
"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."
"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"Let love find you. Don’t go looking for it. The best way to attract a mate is to post an ad on Craigslist titled, “Have lube, will travel."
"I’m running from the very person I’m chasing, and this is how I know I’m in love."