It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lo... - Steven Wright
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."
More quotes by Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."