More quotes by Steven Wright

"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."