More quotes by George Carlin

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."