I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pink... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"

"I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home."

"I just bought a new dishwasher. Some guy was selling two of them in a barn, and it was either that or get a horse, but horses leave spots on silverware."

"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."

"Everyone is a salesman, and the product is each person. Personal branding is being conscious to the continual nature of selling yourself."