"I’ve spent a lifetime learning to love—the lifetime of a chameleon. But hey, I’ve learned a lot in the last year, though you couldn’t tell because I camouflage my feelings."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."
"A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires."
"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."
"My advice to aspiring writers is to read more, write more, and network more. More, more, and more. Then, after you've done all that, do it some more."
"She asked for the time, and I said that information is for sale—by the slice. 60 slices in a whole pie."