If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kick... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"My advice for a person who's just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms...faster."
"They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants."
"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle."