If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kick... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."
"To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant."
"I wouldn't say I'm superficial, just averagely ficial."