More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More