"My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?"
"On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue."
"I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out."
"No matter how much water a sink takes on, it never lives up to its name. The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."