"The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me."
"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."
"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out."
"Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush."