More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love now, not later. Also, love later."
"She has a body for years, and I have an astronaut tan. When we make love it will be like (x + 2)(2x -1) = 0, solve for x."
"My life is but a firefly’s flicker, so I’d better use my brief moment to light up the darkness that covers her path."
"I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read."
"I just developed a gun that shoots mustaches. Sometimes a disguise can be deadly, especially if it’s your love you’re trying to camouflage."