"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."
"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."
"I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight."
"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."