More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"This book comes with its very own logo (logo sold separately)."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More