More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."
"I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping."
"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."
"I have studied the astrological musings of the mystics, and I can conclude one thing: of all things cosmic, bowling is the best."
"The strands of DNA are like strings, and it’s as if I am a walking guitar, a musical being whose vibration can be heard as love."