"They say there are twelve steps to quitting something. But what if that something is playing with a slinky? Seems like you should be able to quit playing with a slinky using no steps."
"My love for you grows daily, and all it takes is exposure to your sunny disposition, coupled with watering it with coffee."
"I peddle my wares as fast as I pedal my bicycle and petal my flowers, and that’s why my sales growth seems so slow. But given time, my brand will be in full bloom."
"I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry."
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"Instead of reciting her an original love poem using words, I think I’ll use my tongue to more creatively explore the deepest parts of her."