#politicians

"Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them."

"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms."

"Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart."

"Nine out of ten politicians are thieves. The tenth politician is a liar, and the one who conducted the survey."

"Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress."

"Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword."

"There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants."

"Politically, I feel out of touch, like I’m wearing gloves—boxing gloves. We need to go bareknuckle to beat back the entrenched establishment."

"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."

"The COUNTRY is controlled by LAWS>LAWS are controlled by POLITICIANS>POLITICIANS are controlled by VOTERS>VOTERS are controlled by PUBLIC OPINION>PUBLIC OPINION is controlled by the MEDIA (News, Hollywood, Internet...) & EDUCATIONso. whoever controls MEDIA & EDUCATION, controls the COUNTRY."

"I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians."

"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."

"People wishes their friends to be in politics, but their sons in professions."

"You know who’s not money? @JManziel2. Quarterbacks should stay in the pocket, because that’s where the money is. Ask any politician."

"I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up."

"I have two ears, so why can’t I listen to two things at once? A politician only has one mouth, yet doublespeaks all the time."