"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."