"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."
"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."
"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."
"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."
"I am the three minutes of 180 seconds, and I don’t do refills. I’m a lover, not a farmer."