More quotes by George Carlin

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."