More quotes by George Carlin

"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."
"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."