"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."
"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."
"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."