"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without remembering that her hands are full because you insisted she carry all the groceries out to the car."
"He said he came in second place, so I assumed there were only two competitors. But you never know with love, there may have been a third party involved."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"Love is the science of reducing your sound while upping the amplitude of another person."