"My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole."
"Who needs a large vocabulary when you can just make up any word at any time? It makes life a whole lot more emeaglibop."
"I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all the air."
"The first step to running a successful business, is printing out pictures of all the luxury items you’re going to buy once you get rich."
"To get him to agree, I put a gun to his head. To get him to not change his mind, I blew out his brains."
"My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole."