More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."
"Vodka in the shape of a human body would be an excellent dancing partner. I'm a bring my own chaser kind of lover."
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."
"Just when you thought you’d considered all the angles, life goes from a square to a cube. Love should also be 3D."
"It was a cold night, so I got a fire going. I lit a scented candle."