"Myth, mist, and mystery all add to the illusion of love. If you need me I’ll be by the fog machine wearing a tunic and writing an epic poem in Greek."
"As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves."
"Taking a break. Been working solid for the last few hours, as opposed to working liquid, which is more drinkable. Can I pour you a glass of productivity?"
"If you have a broken heart, I’d like to fix it. Repairs start at just $69. Special delivery charges may apply."
"With any new business deal, don’t think about how much you can afford to get—think about how much you can afford to give. A spirit of giving will allow you to get."
"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."