More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch."
"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"Our love went from fly to flower to butterfly, and it was meant to beautifully flutter, not sit still on a shelf like a trophy to be collected."
"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."
"I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only."