More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!"