One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides. - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic."

"Only the living can read. This means that when I write, my target market is people of the future. Greetings, people of the moon!"

"It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Always arrange a sentence so you appear to be fearless, when in fact you are far less than fearless—you are clueless."

"I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, because what do I want with an animal shelter?"

"Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino secretary."