More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."