Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lo... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."

"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."

"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."

"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."

"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."