Quarterbacks shouldn’t leave the pocket, because that’s wher... - Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

"4 in 5 Americans disapprove of the job Congress is doing, which begs the question: Are 1 in 5 Americans retarded?"

"She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!"

"Here’s what I’d love to see: A vending machine that dispenses cats for petting on your lunch break. Instead of money, the machine accepts hugs."

"Quarterbacks shouldn’t leave the pocket, because that’s where the money is. Every politician knows this."

"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."