Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off. - Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

"Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it."

"The big uncookable sections of who we are, they’re the ones I love to taste the most."

"The Chinese used gunpowder to make fireworks for celebrations, and the white man came along and said, Holy shit, we can use this to kill people. What better way to celebrate than that?"

"The girl I used to love is no longer a girl, and this saddens me more than our separation. It puts my own mortality vividly on display, in contrast to my eternally youthful memories."

"I can envision your success all day long, but until you imagine its reality, it’s not going to happen. So what are you waiting for? Start daydreaming."