She called it a slap, but I called it a high-five to my face... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."